Diner
You’ll start off with a magazine on your face. First we need to remove it. Head inside the diner and ignore everyone for now. Go to the very right and inside the bathroom to the back. Here, you’ll be able to choose what your character looks like. After you choose your looks, interact with the jukebox to the left of the bathroom door. You’ll be able to receive 1 Meat.
Head back to the front of the diner and talk to the lady, Ethel. She’ll ask you for your name. Here, you’ll be able to choose your first and last name. After giving your name, select [2] Does the bus to Ocean City pick up here? to choose your starting perks. Refer to the choices below to choose your perk.
Name Description Choice 1 Choice 2 Big Heart HP +3 [1]I just really want to help [1]Of course he is. He’s family, after all Scout’s Honor [1]I just really want to help [2]Everybody who needs help deserves help go back to previous [3] Actually, I have a different reason Checkered Past +1 to Melee Weapon Attacks [2] I got in some trouble back home [1] I beat up a phone booth Checkered Past +1 to Ranged Weapon Attacks [2] I got in some trouble back home [2] I shot a parking meter Checkered Past +1 to Magical Weapon Attacks [3] I started a fire in a mailbox go back to previous [4] I was mistaken, there was no trouble Lost Soul ??? [3] I’m searching for something [1] No. That’s the problem Voyage of Self-Discovery Maybe you’re in a mirror somewhere [3] I’m searching for something [2] Just trying to find myself, I guess Haunted Don’t worry, it will find you soon enough [3] I’m searching for something [3] Something dark go back to previous [4] Just kidding, I’m not looking for anything Meat-Minded +20% Meat Drops [4] Just seeking my fortune [1] Money Ambition Whatever it takes [4] Just seeking my fortune [2] Fame Acquisitive Nature +20% Item Drops [4] Just seeking my fortune [3] Having lots of stuff go back to previous [4] On second thought, forget about fortune. Guarded +1 Physical Armor [5] Mind your own business, Ethel
After choosing your perks, exit the diner for a cutscene. On the way to Ocean City, the bus will run out of gas. Talk to the driver and he’ll give you an empty can. You will need to fill it up with gas. You only need 100% Gas in order to complete the task however, if you want to get an achievement, see below.
Prologue
Head to the left and enter Krustinger Auto-motive. Go to the snacks rack at the back and pick up the Cheez Loaf and loot the cash register for 7 Meat. Take the Baseball Bat that’s leaning on the wall.
After looting the room, enter the door to the right. Convince yourself that you’re an employee to be able to enter. Once inside, head right, to the third shelf. Look at the old personnel files in order to gain 5 XP. Continue on and take the door down to the garage.
Go to the right and check the fuse box. It will be empty. Go back to the previous room to look for fuse. It’s on the second shelf, to the left of the personnel file.
Once you have the fuse, replace the broken one on the fuse box then press the button to the right side of the door. This will lower the car lift, enabling you to siphon some gas, filling it to ⅓ full.
Exit the Filling Station then continue heading left (You can speak to the NPC if you want) until you reach a house. Enter it and you’ll be greeted by Elias.
Talk to Elias and he’ll give you the Farmer Chekhov’s barn key. After this, ask him about the items in the room. The BEARS box will give you Bibson’s Extra-Sweet Pears. The weird device on top of the box will give you the haunted duck call.
Head to the door at the back, to the right of the kitchen. This door leads to the bathroom. Ask Elias to use it. Once inside, flush the toilet for 5 XP. If you want t o change your character’s expression, you can use the mirror.
After you’re done asking around, head out back using the leftmost door. On the clothesline you’ll be able to loot a rusty pistol then enter the barn at the back.
Once inside, head to the very left and pick up the fishing rod at the corner.
After picking it up, go to the very right and destroy the robot. Throw a rock at it first before attacking normally to finish the fight in one round. You’ll be able to earn 5 XP.
Once the robot is defeated, pick up the gas at the back to fill your can up to ⅔ full. Since you have 15 total XP now and plan on doing the Fuel Reserves achievement, spend it on Strong Back (+1 Muscle) first. Your current stats should now be Muscle 2, Mysticality 1, Moxie 1. This will be clear later. If you don’t want to do the achievement, spend the XP on whatever you like. Go back inside Elias’ house and head back to the bathroom. Equip the fishing rod and fish in the toilet bowl. You should be able to obtain old fishing shorts. Wear the shorts for more armor.
Head out back again and go to the right time, until you encounter the Scarecrow. Defeat it for another 5 XP.
After defeating the scarecrow, move past it and head towards the tractor. Extract its gas to gain a full gas can. Before you leave, interact with the tractor and keep pretending to farm. You will be able to obtain 5 XP this way.
If you are not after the Fuel Reserves Achievement, you can return to the bus driver and report to him to move on to the next area. If you want to collect the other items here, continue reading.
Exit Elias’ house, back to the main street. Keep going left until you see a turtle. Help it up. It will help you later. After the Enjoy Blue Cola sign, enter the box car.
Once inside, collect the fuel on the left to get 133 percent full gas can. Then dig up the garbage pile at the bottom to find a 1917 S.I.T. class ring.
Talk to the harmonica playing hobo and accept the jerky he’s offering. He will give you a ‘clam jerky’. Eat it to gain +1 Muscle. Your current stats should now be Muscle 3, Mysticality 1 and Moxie 1. After speaking with him, force open the gate at the back. (It requires 2 Muscle).
Exit the box car and go to the right, towards the outdoor kitchen. Pick up the grimy spatula from the stove then open the fridge to obtain the 166 percent full gas can. We’re more than halfway done!
After looting, go to the left and fight the minotaur. Same strategy, throw a rock at it then attack. You’ll gain another 5 XP after defeating it, then help yourself to the gas from the car behind the bull. You’ll now have 200 percent full gas can.
Now that you have 15 XP again, spend it on Fashion Sense this time. Your current stats should be Muscle 3, Mysticality 1 and Moxie 2.
Backtrack to the barn behind Elias’ house. Head towards the barn.
Enter the barn then force open the cabinet to the left of the haystack(It requires 3 Muscle). You’ll then get the 233 percent full gas can. We’re done with the muscle requirement, so you can switch your buffs now. Eat the Cheez Loaf you got from the gas station. Your current stats shou ld now be Muscle 2, Mysticality 1 and Moxie 3. Go to the right where the robot was and search the workbench (It requires 2 Moxie) to obtain the welding gloves. This will give you +1 Hot Armor.
Go back to Elias’ house and give him the ring you found in the box car. Select [2] It’s all yours if you want it! to obtain 5 XP.
Head back to the boxcar and open Howie the Hobo’s knapsack (Requires 3 Moxie) to obtain the little silver key’ then reach in to the fire to grab a crowbar(Requires 1 Hot Armor). You don’t need 3 Moxie anymore, so this time, eat the Bibson’s Extra-Sweet Pears. Your stats should now be Muscle 2, Mysticality 2 and Moxie 2.
Backtrack all the way back to the bus, the turtle you saved should be there. Pick it up and equip it.
Back to Elias’ house. Go to the second room. Elias will tell you about the dust devil. Once you’re inside, ignore the bed for now and go to the right. There should be a dark area on the floor board. Pry it open (Requires crowbar) and head down.
Interact with the shelving at the back and pick up the ‘’’jar of gross old vegetables (3)’’’. If you want, you can also change the property of your baseball bat here. Head towards the greasy barrel and dip your bat in it to obtain the greasy baseball bat.
Fight the spiders. Attack the ‘’’more dangerous blind spider’’’ first. The same strategy, throw a rock then attack. Defeat them to obtain ‘’’5 XP’’’. One more battle for the last skill upgrade!
We’re done with the root cellar. Build the ladder and climb up. Drag the dust devil from under the bed. Heave the gross vegetables at it to give it a debuff, then throw a rock and attack.
After defeating it, you’ll obtain ‘’’5 XP’’’. With anoth er 15 XP, use it to level up ‘’Quick Wit’’’ to increase your Mysticality. Your current stats should now be Muscle 2, Mysticality 3 and Moxie 2.
Final stretch! Exit the house and go back to the Filling Station.
Head to the back room and search the desk on the left. Unlock it using the ‘’’little silver key’’’ you took from Howie and you’ll obtain the ‘’’gas pump hose’’’.
Go to the garage and check out the machine at the lower left (Requires 3 Mysticality). Harvest the machine to get ‘’’266 percent full gas can’’’. One more!
Exit the station and go to the gas pumps. Install the hose you found on the leftmost pump and pump the gas. You’ll obtain the ‘’’300 percent full gas can’’’ as well as the achievement ‘‘’’Fuel Reserves’’’’.
You’re finally done here and can now head back to the bus driver. Talk to him and choose the second option to leave this area. You will gain ‘’’10 XP’’’.
Ocean City
Once you’re dropped off, head inside the Antique Shop. Keep talking to Jessica until she gives you the newspaper office key.
Go back outside and rummage through the trash bin to get a cheap cologne. Keep heading left until you reach The Ocean City Watchful Eye. Enter it using the key that Jessica gave you.
As soon as you get in, head straight up and pour yourself a nasty old coffee from the coffee station in front of the entrance. You can interact with the desks to find more information or items. The bottom leftmost desk has the reporter’s cufflinks. The bottom desk to the right of the entrance will give you the pneumatic tube systems operation manual (quest item). The last desk to the right (above the broken desk) contains nasty old leftovers. The other desk will give you information about the hidden door beneath the water cooler.
Archives
At the back of the room is huge sign that says “Archives”. Here, you’ll be able to earn XP based on information you’ll find along your journey. Be sure to check back on it for some free XP.
Once you’re done rummaging the office, go to the water cooler and move it. Head down the trap door.
At the underground of the office, head to the left and towards the old printing press. Pick up the underground newspaper (quest item) . Now go to the right and check out the calendar on the wall. This will unlock a new article from the archives.
Right next to the calendar is the pneumatic tube system. If you picked up the manual upstairs, you can use this to suck the enemies out of the way, or you can choose to fight them.
After getting rid of the enemies, pick up the terribly cursed fedora on the ground. Now head back to Jessica. After speaking to her, she will tell you to uncurse the hat.
Go inside the bedroom and open your trunk. You’ll obtain stamp from Murray’s letter(quest item). Head to the bed then go to sleep.
You’ll be transported to a dream sequence. Head to the right until you see the lockers. Check the lockers and insist on checking the seventh one. You will obtain the overdue library book (quest item). You can talk to the npc beside the locker as well. If you tell them that they own the seventh locker, they will turn to you.
Continue onwards and you’ll meet the cat from the gas station, it has the same name as you. Pet it to obtain [You name]’s boon. It gives +1 to Muscle, Mysticality and Moxie.
After petting the cat, talk to the lady on the desk. Here, you can choose your class and perks
Class
Pig Skinner Muscle based Cheese Wizard Mysticality based Jazz Agent Moxie based
Perks
Cryptobotanist Gather crafting ingredients from plants Insectologist Gather crafting ingredients from insects Physcologeologist Gather crafting ingredients from rocks
After choosing your class, exit the dream sequence through the door.
Once you wake up, you’ll be on Day 1. Jessica will give you a new mission, the to-do list and 100 Meat. After talking to her, check out the bookshelf to the left of your bedroom door to obtain History’s Worst Honking.
Exit the Antique shop to start the next chapter.